he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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