I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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