Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
