My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
