$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
