The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
