Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
