Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
