Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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