In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
