I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize