isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize