i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
