He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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