your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize