we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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