my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I checked into jail on foursquare
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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