i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
