I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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