We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize