drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
