That's intense
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
