Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
