But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
