garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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