why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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