im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
