Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
