I CAN MOONWALK!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
