ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
