I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Text me some of your sweat
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
