Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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