if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
