What did we do last night that was yellow?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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