bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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