WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
