need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
