she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I will pee on everything he values.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
