He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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