My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
