At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
