i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
