Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
