i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
