I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
