Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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