Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
