Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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