ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
