Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize