...so i touched it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Your cock deserves a montage
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
