i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
