he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize