Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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