if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I bet he comes in French.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
