Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
