I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
