his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
