ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
