apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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