im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
