All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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