My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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