Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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