soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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