so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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